It's on, Big Sloth is back!

After nearly a year since my last post I have acquired many new items to my collection. I have so much shit to show you guys (and gals). Among my new loot is the coveted:

Nintendo NES Test Station!

I know you're jealous. Don't deny it.

I stumbled upon this gem through another collector by the name of "Nintendo Dan". Nintendo Dan has one of the best collections I've seen, you'll see for yourself when I post an interview I'll be doing with him. If you're not familiar with the test station here's a youtube video that I found which teaches you all about this hard to find collector's item:

Here's a close up of the AV connectors.

As you can see in the picture below, I am using a Commodore 64 monitor because just like many of other test stations that are out there, mine is missing the original 9" panasonic tv it originally came with. I am also on the lookout for the Nintendo Service Station sign that would sit on the tv.

My test station still has the plate on which the tv is supposed to rest on.

You can remove it too.

Not only was this test station meant to test the working condition of your NES console and peripherals, there was also an adjoining unit made that did the same for the SNES. Rad huh?

It's really just a glorified Nintendo, but it sure feels good to own one finally.

Maxivision 15-in-1

It was a rewarding Nintendo hunt this weekend! It's most exciting when I'm able to find these treasures without the help of Ebay. When I saw the ad on Craigslist I was amazed that this game was being sold. I sent the seller my offer of $10, almost $30 less than what it usually sells for on Ebay. The seller agreed and I was pleasantly surprised to find out it came 

IN THE CASE, WITH THE INSTRUCTION BOOKLET AND NEAR MINT CONDITION. 

Fuck Yeah!

That's about $200 off the price it usually auctions off in this condition. This game was the last multicart game published by AVE (American Video Entertainment), American Game Cartridges and Colordreams in 1992. The 15 games included are:

1. F-15 City War
2. Puzzle
3. Pyramid
4. Tiles of Fate
5. Krazy Kreatures
6. Double Strike
7. Dudes with Attitude
8. Venice Beach Volleyball
9. Stakk'm
10. Deathbots
11. Rad Racket Deluxe Tennis II
12. Chiller
13. Solitaire
14. Menace Beach
15. Shock Wave

Shit, this wasn't my only lucky C.List find, I also was able to purchase the first issue of Nintendo Power magazine in ok condition along with 3 others plus the "NES Game Atlas" all for a whopping 5 bucks! 

I stopped at a local game shop I rarely frequent,  and I was able to pick up Bionic Commando and The Battle of Olympus complete in the box at $6 each. That's the shit huh? 

Shitty Nintendo Costumes...What Were They Thinking?

When Halloween comes around and you go to Spencer's and notice they are out of the "Free Mammograms Lab Coat" costume and the "Look at me, I'm the crazy pimp with the pink fuzzy leopard hat" or maybe you've played out the old trenchcoat and penis trick and are in need in something "original" to get you laid on this very spooky night do you think to yourself, " Hmm, how about a really homemade looking Nintendo piece of shit costume so I can be the laughing stock of the office?" I hope not, because then you'll end up right here on my blog like these people if I find your picture on the net. 

This man woman, whatever the fuck it is...this is the worst attempt at creating a Link costume I have ever seen. What's up with the crayon colored shield? hahaha Look at "it's" little Yosemite Sam boots.  

Did "it" swallow Princess Zelda? I didn't know that Link had lazy eye. Yeah, I have the right to talk shit because I made my son the most badass Link costume, but I was smart enough not to show it on here because some asshole like me might talk shit... Seriously though, when did Link start wearing tinted goggles? It gets a D - and the only reason I don't give "it" an F is because I'm a Zelda fan. What a fucken disgrace.

Are these supposed to be gay pig chefs? Why is that guy wearing a hemmorhoid cushion on his head? Well, I give them credit for taking their time to make these stupid costumes. These dorks get a C+ for effort and an F flamboyant.

Wow... and this fucken guy. Did he really think he was in any kind of shape to be MegaMan? Someone needs to change his diaper. Where the fuck did he find those pointy little Aladdin shoes? I would give him a B+ for the costume and an F for F.U.P.A (Fat Upper Penis/Pussy Area).

Now imagine this fucken weirdo giving out candies to your kids. No way. Look at the way he's looking at you. Look, look into his eyes. I think he was on the Halloween special of "To Catch a Predator". Whoa, what's the Windex for? Actually, this guy gets an A for this Bowser costume. And definitely gets a C for child molestor.

Come on. Really? How embarrasing would it be if your mom wore this Wario costume, at the mall? Maybe she forgot to take off her sweats and running shoes after working out to her to her Sweating to the Oldies VHS tape with Richard Simmons. This is not the image that comes to mind when thinking Wario. This picture speaks for itself. This costume deserves an F for fitness and a C for cheeseburger.

At least these people took the time to create a costume based on their favorite game unlike some frat boy who's too cool for school that you see at a party wearing a psychedelic Dr. Seuss hat with the "I'm with Stupid" shirt. Berlin thinks I'm an asshole for poking fun at these creative individuals, I just tell it like it is. 

These costumes suck!

"How To Win At Nintendo Games"

Just how gamers can hop online nowadays and get cheats, codes and step by step gameplay; well back in the days us Nintendo Jocks had magazines such as Nintendo Power and books such as these, introducing....

How To Win at Nintendo Games by Jeff Rovin

The preface claims that:

"The key to winning is discovering the codes, strategies and maneuvers that are players' mostly closely guarded secrets. Packed with vital information- 

like training tips, layout of the screen, how to score, how you can move- 

How to Win at Nintendo Games will put you at the top of your form!"

Fuck yeah. I want to be on top of my form, even if it has taken me 20 years to get there! These books are actually pretty kick ass. I don't feel like I'm cheating the experience of playing the actual game and discovering all the little tricks on my own. Shit, this beats having to go on youtube and having to put up with some little turd walking you through a game that's older than his ass. It's cool that some younger kids respect the 8-bit challenge though. Jeff Rovin, the author, does a fine job with this series: 

• How to Win at Nintendo Games (red)
  
• How to Win at Nintendo Games #2 (green)
• How to Win at Nintendo Games #3 (yellow)
• How to Win at Nintendo Sports Games (blue)

I'll be referring to these books on future game reviews if applicable. 

These two books are the same one.  Just that in one of them Mr. Rovin had to clear his ass and let it be known he wasn't authorized by Nintendo to use their name. 

In this book (red) it has tips and strategies for 40 different titles. Yeah it's that intense. These 40 games are definitely the must have classics for any NES aficionado.
I'd list them but I don't feel like typing. 

I'll leave leave you on the edge of your seat, till next time cheaters.

I'm not that crafty, really

Honestly, how many people seriously thought the shitty looking Nintendo jewelry was for real or meant to be worn? Are any of you familiar with satire? Guess not. 

Well, here goes nothing....

Berlin told me she was tired dealing with all the Ebay bullshit and we should try another alternative way to sell our shit.  (By the way, that below is my wife Miss Berlin Deluxxe in case you forgot.)

So we said fuck it, let's open an account on the crunchy granola people site "Etsy".  Well fuck me. After minutes of posting our wares, other sellers and busybodies started talking shit about how technically our Nintendo consoles, games and accessories weren't really vintage and they were going to report us. 

They were acting like a bunch of 5 year old snitches. 

Fine. I read the fine print and even though a lot of my shit was 20 years+, which is considered "vintage" in Etsy standards, some wasn't. So what did I do? I disguised all my Nintendo paraphanelia as  wanna-be-generic-soap-on-a-rope style jewelry. I beat them at their own game. Bitches. A couple of enhanced breasts as a display rack didn't hurt either. 

Honestly, at first it was about making sales, but in the end it was just about good ol' fashion winning.

I've closed the shop now, and moved on.

Let's play some Monster Party and call it a night.

Virtual Boy

Up to date, this is my  prized Nintendo possesion, the

 Virtual Boy Kiosk/Game Display! 

This is actually one of three store displays that came out. There is a smaller counter model as well as a standing kiosk. Which is pretty fucken big. This is the medium sized kiosk. I bought this off a fellow NES collector who goes by the name of Cannibal_69. He has a pretty extensive collection, but unfortunately is selling it off. This Kiosk is in almost mint condition. All stickers and tags are intact, no scratches whatsoever and no missing pieces. And he included 10 of the 14 U.S. released games plus one Japanese game! I'll blog about these little gems in a later post.

Game kiosks were usually set up at stores such as KB Toys and Toys-R-Us so you can imagine how rare it is to find one in great condition after taking so much abuse from kids. Fortunately, mine was only put out for one day and then hid out in the back. 
This kiosk is very user friendly, you plug it in, switch it on and the marquee lights up.  As you can see below, this is where you'd insert the game cartridge. Pretty basic. Most of these kiosks had some kind of lock to prevent the demo game (Red Alarm and I think Mario Tennis too) from being stolen.  
The Virtual Boy really kicks ass as far as gaming goes. It got a bad rap in the 90's, possibly the whole seizure thing and headaches, and the fact that the actual presentation wasn't as cool as the kiosk. The graphics are great, 3-D, but unfortunately all in red. 
You can read more info about this kick ass gaming unit at Virtual-Boy.net. This site could tell you pretty much everything you'd want to know about the Virtual Boy.

For the record...

Berlin is far from being fat. But probably your g.friend is, or your neighbor's wife you've been jerking off to at the trailer park.

And she's a MILF too...